Hack All The Things: Kid-friendly music from Pandora

Morgan gets way to much attention on this blog. I want some attention too. I'm going to start posting some good family hacks for us low income families who are trying to make it and still want to be tech-capable or need to fix something quick.

First hack: Kid Friendly Music Time
Needed: Pandora and Pandora-capable devices
Also Featuring: K9 Web Protection

I don't like paying for music when I'm a broke dad. It makes me feel like I am spending money on a past time for their ears rather than food for their mouths. But I don't like the radio. There are too many mixed content bags on broadcast radio where you could be listening to a perfectly kid-friendly song then get something like Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night". No one wants a 4-year-old asking, "What's a mhuna-mhuna (ménage à trois)?"

Here comes Pandora! I have offered to have a computer in each of the kids' rooms equipped with K9 Web Protection so I can block everything but what I want them to see online. I can also stop the internet entirely after 8pm so they have to go to bed or suffer boredom. I setup Alayna's email address with Pandora, and set the Explicit Content Filter to "No" (Settings > Account > Explicit content filter) with only my email address able to remove it. Now whenever she goes into a Pandora-enabled app (Pandora.com, Pandora on Android, etc), she cannot receive explicit content. Beyond that, I told her I will remove any radio stations I deem inappropriate and she will be grounded anytime I find one. I have also agreed with her and Aiden that no radio stations are added without my knowledge. If it becomes a problem, I have another hack that can prevent them from changing anything on Pandora.com when they're on the site (sometime I'll show you how to do that).

My fav stations for the kids right now are:

• They Might Be Giants (Children's)
• Laurie Berkner
• The Aquabats (Children's)
• Caravan Palace
• Beats Antique
• Flogging Molly
• Children's Indie (Genre)
• Children's Folk (Genre)
• Family Folk Songs (Genre)

There are plenty of others. You'll have to find the ones you feel are appropriate. Remember that the explicit content filter will not go through a song and deem it unsuitable if it has questionable subject matter, such as kissing same sexes or smoking and drinking. It leaves out swear words or removes songs flagged as explicit, which is not always the same as your own definition of "explicit".

For rooms without a computer, use the Pandora Android or iPad app on your phone or tablet. You can also use a streaming media player, like the Netgear NEO TV Streaming Player:

These boxes replace your cable or satellite box, or complement it, depending on what you like to watch. This is also a great streaming source for Netflix, Hulu Plus and YouTube, but the main function here is Pandora Radio. Roku was one of the first to make a commercial streaming player to rival cable/satellite television. I often recommend Roku streaming players over other brands.

You can even get Pandora in your car to provide family friendly audio entertainment on long drives. With four rambunctious kids, I expect at some point to get a deck that streams Pandora myself. But instead of spending $100+ on a car audio deck to play Pandora, why not use your iPhone or Android smartphone powered by the Pandora app and use an FM transmitter to send Pandora audio straight to your radio in your car, regardless of brand or connections?

Connect this to the headphone jack on your phone and use the MP3s you load onto it or Pandora to keep the kids interested in something other than fighting with each other all the way to grandma's.

It's this kind of stuff that keeps us sane. It does not have to cost a whole lot either; often you can use what you already have if you don't need radio coming through your car and TV speakers. It's just another way to tailor the audio in your life to your kids (or you and the spouse when you're having "time alone"). Don't spend your money on MP3s or CDs unless you want to listen to specific bands on demand, which is the only limitation of Pandora. Save that money for the mouths in your house.

Joe's Wish List: A better Acer tablet

I lied about the Acer Iconia in the last post. OMG, this is the tablet I want for the family. We could do so much with this. Pair this with the little 19" LCD TV we got for free from the neighbor (I will miss that lady when she moves next month), and you have a great little mobile media center for the house. How to pair it? An HDMI cable playing 1080p video to the TV. I could use it on the 42" LG TV we have I guess, but I'm already running my laptop through that for... um, "saved" movies... in full HD.

Geek bloggers unite!

Joe's Wish List: Graphics Tablet

Other than a replacement for the beat-up clunker of an Escort I'm driving now, I think this will be my one buy for myself this year with taxes. I had some other ideas, such as an Acer Iconia tablet or a new sound system in the new vehicle, but I have gone long enough, about 4 years, without my graphics tablet.

This one looks pretty capable. Adesso is the one who bought the company who made my last graphics tablet. They sell a 12x9 pad that is the exact same one I had before, but I didn't like it being so big. This being a widescreen version is perfect, and it's mid-priced so I am hoping it will not be so cheap as the last one.

But, of course, it's on a wish list, not on a grocery list, so let's hope we can work it out so you guys can get some decent digital art on this blog, and my Tumblr feed.

It was God's will....

I think those are the 4 worst words you can say to anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. I believe in God. I believe in a loving God, not a God who punishes by taking lives. I believe that as human beings, children of God, our lives are full of choices. Some are small: what to have for breakfast, whether to wear the blue or red shirt, etc. And some are huge.

Any of those choices, large or small, can result in life altering consequences. Maybe for breakfast you chose to have eggs rather than cereal so it takes you 5 minutes longer to prepare and because of that you miss a huge accident on the freeway. If you had chosen cereal, you would have been right there at that time. Maybe you didn't put your seat belt on right away and drove off, only to be involved in a serious accident a block from home.

Choices...

And some things just happen. This is where I waiver in my faith. Little Leila Grace and anencephaly. It just happened. Was it God's will? I don't believe it was God's will to take that baby, it was one of those things that happen without reason.

The loss of Emilee, was it God's will? I 100% do not believe so.

I believe that we are given the freedom of choice. Each choice we make, each action we take, has a consequence; some are good and some are bad. Today the pastor presiding over Emilee's service make a statement that moved me, and made me think of God's will. I can't recall his words exactly, but it was about how Emilee made a choice, and while God didn't condone that choice, he wept while she was making it. He also said that he believed Emilee was in heaven with her sweet Leila Grace, with her parents, and with all those who have passed before her.

I know I will someday see Emilee again. I know that God loves her. My heart will always grieve for her. For now, I continue to pray for her son, Dallas, her fiance, Will, and his two boys.

Suicide

Wow, nearly 1200 views of my blog about Emilee, and comments from strangers. That's pretty impressive seeing as none of my previous blogs managed to rake in no more than 50 or so views each.

Thank you all for sharing the blog, and for supporting Emilee's son, friends, and family.

It's times like this, when it's quiet, and all I can hear are my thoughts that it's the hardest. Those little "what ifs" that pop up in your head, the "if onlys" that scream through your mind. The terrible ache in your heart that can't be stopped. In my mind I know I did all that I could, but my heart... My heart says maybe I could have helped save her if I had reached out one more time. Just once more. Who knows? I think that's the worst part, the wondering of what I could have done differently.

Those of you who've heard about Emilee and judged her as a coward, or selfish, or thoughtless of her son, PLEASE do not judge 25 years of her life based on one final choice. You haven't lived her life, experienced her experiences, or suffered her loss and pain. No one is in a position to judge her. She was an amazing person, who suffered a lot of loss and pain in her 25 years.

Depression is real. It is life altering. It is beyond painful. Calling someone a coward when the depression wins isn't helpful. It makes the problem worse. How is someone suffering from depression so badly they would consider suicide supposed to feel when they hear, or read, those words? Do you think they'll reach out for help knowing you think them a coward?

I believe that Emilee is in heaven, with her sweet daughter Leila Grace, her parents and all of her loved ones who passed before her. I know that her heart is free of pain. I only hope that her son can someday understand that it wasn't about him. His mother loved him more than anything in this world. From the day she learned he was growing in her body her heart was his.

So please, please don't judge Emilee. Please don't judge her life based on one moment of utter weakness and pain.

RIP Emilee Granatowski

I still don't have many details, just that my friend took her own life. She was over the moon excited to find out she was expecting, in October she found out her baby was a girl. Just a few days later she received the devastating news that regardless of when she delivered her sweet baby wouldn't survive outside the womb. Her daughter, whom she lovingly named Leila Grace, was diagnosed with a rare neural defect called anencephaly. Most babies with anencephaly live only a  few short minutes, some may even live hours or possibly even days. Very rarely they may live weeks or even months. None have ever lived to see their first birthday. In November Emilee delivered her sweet angel, who passed on just moments after making her entrance into this world.

Emilee was an amazing person, she had over come so much loss and adversity in her life. Her mom passed when she was 9, her dad passed when she was 16, her only sibling lived across the country. Emilee had a wonderful son, Dallas, who is just 5 days younger than my daughter Brooklyn. We originally met on myspace of all places. We were in a group for mommies due in December 2006. We shared our hopes and dreams for our little ones, the ups and downs of pregnancy. Shortly after the births of our children we decided to meet in real life. That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. She helped me through my post partum depression, offering a shoulder to lean on or cry on, a friend to call, anything I needed. I only wish I could have been given the chance to do the same for her in her biggest moment of need.

Over the last 2 years, as life changed for both of us, we didn't talk as much off of the internet, we didn't see each other as much. I'll always regret that. I don't think that had I reached out more I could have saved her or prevented this. I'll always wish that I had, but in my mind I know, no one had control over Emilee's actions. I tried reaching out several times after the birth of Leila, I mentioned to my husband,  to my mom, and to friends how worried I was about Emilee. The one time I mentioned it to Emilee she said she was getting help. I just wish I had kept mentioning it to her.

Part of me is heart broken. My heart aches, it's shattered. 25 years old, and gone forever. A poor sweet 6 year old boy will grow up without his mother. The other part of me is angry, so very angry. She KNEW what it was like to grow up without a mother! She had an amazing little boy who needed her. A fiance who loved her. So many friends who would have done anything to help her. I can't even put into words how angry I am. I would have done anything to help her, ANYTHING. I don't know the pain of losing a child, and I pray, with all of my heart and soul, that I never do.

I am crushed, beyond words. This is a loss that will forever change me. Emilee, I will forever be grateful for the time we had together, for the friendship we shared. Not a day will go by that I wont think of you, that I wont miss you. I hope you are at peace, with your lovely daughter and amazing parents. I love you.

Friends and family, anyone who reads this blog: Please, if you ever feel as if life has gotten to be too much, as if you can't go on, please, I beg you, reach out to someone, anyone.

IEPs

Alayna's IEP is finalized as of last week, it officially starts this Monday. The assessment results were the hardest part to swallow. We've always known Alayna was delayed, she had 3 years of Kindergarten and no supportive services before this year. Her previous OT said that she'll need an IEP in school especially as she gets older and academic demands become harder. But, to see it all on paper in plain black and white was a little hard. She's scored in the "below average/slow" range almost everywhere, however it was the high part, just barely below average.

Her IEP is going to allow for adaptive PE, extra time on tests, homework, and big projects and a scribe available for big tests (like the state testing). The adaptive PE isn't really an issue right now, but come next year when middle school starts it's definitely going to be a problem. But, that's a hurdle we'll cross when we get there. The PT at the school is great, and is going to observe Alayna's PE class once a month to be sure everything is going well. We're not sure if she'll really need a scribe (which is someone to write down her answers word-for-word), but it's nice to know it's available should she need it. She'll also be getting specialized learning time with the special education teacher each week. We'll have to re-evaluate everything for next school year,  but there are some concerns that being in all general ed classes may be too much for her.

Aiden also has an IEP. He's almost always had a stuttering problem. Maybe we should have gotten him into speech therapy for it before now, but we didn't want to make a big deal out of it and he was never bothered by it. Anyways, he's getting 30 minutes of speech therapy every week. The speech therapist at the school is GREAT, and she's been giving me a lot of tips to help him with his spelling as well.

See, Aiden had chronic ear infections from 6 months to 21 months and has a result had about a 75% hearing loss when they finally took his tonsils and adenoid out and put tubes in his ears. This effected his ability to hear things properly, and as such has made it difficult for him to spell. Seriously, that makes me feel like crap. It makes me WISH that I had requested that Aiden get ear vent tubes long before he did. The ENT wanted to get him as close to two as possible as he didn't want to do two surgeries (one for the ear vent tubes and another for the tonsils and adenoid). There's no going back now, so we just have to work on what we can.

We are STILL waiting on Brooklyn's IEP. I'm anticipating a lot of issues there though. She's not having any academic issues or any serious behavioral issues at school. She's still very much withdrawn in the class, but according to her teacher does very well when she's in a small group with just a few other kids and an adult. I think I need to contact the advocacy group I have the information for just in case. The one thing that's on our side here is that she does have a diagnosis of ADHD, which should at the very least qualify her for a 504 plan, as I doubt she'll qualify for an IEP. We're asking for some type of one-on-one or small group teaching everyday, and so far the school has told me no way.

We got in to see her pediatrician at the end of December for her 6 year check up (HOLY CRAP! My baby is almost 6!!) so we'll discuss some more things then. I'm really hoping that the school has their crap together by then so I can run it all by him.

Brooklyn's situation is just unique compared to the average kid with an IEP or 504 plan. She's not delayed anywhere (except socially) she doesn't have ANY poor behavior issues at school. But, I want her to get help socially. I want her to be encouraged, and I seriously want her to freaking LEARN things! She's already passed all of the end of year goals. Hell, she was passed them BEFORE she even started Kindergarten. I just don't want her to end up hating school because she's bored all the time. So, I guess we'll wait and see. I'm hoping they get us in for a meeting before the 18th, otherwise we'll have to wait until January.