Watch D.O.G.S. meeting takeaways

Watch D.O.G.S. is a program that engages fathers in schools. Positive male role models are important for boys as well as girls, and having a positive male influence in a learning environment can be a powerful experience for a child. Primarily, the Watch D.O.G.S program has been an elementary-level program, completely run by volunteers, not administered by the school directly but usually via PTA organizations. I am signing up as a volunteer for the Evergreen School District and will be present at Covington Middle School with my daughter for one entire day, if not more.

My takeaway from the introduction meeting is not necessarily how wonderful this program is, which is definitely the impression I got about the program. It's not really the potential or the thought of influencing a child's life. It's how many men were there, estimating about 30, and how many of those took volunteer forms to fill out. Some wanted to fill them out immediately. It was amazing.

I am thrilled with the level of dad involvement at Covington. We have all heard the stereotypical dad scenario, overworked and not interested in being too involved with the children because the wife has that handled. This day and age, that is not as much the situation. Between two-income households where both parents are working, changes in work hours, and shifts in the dynamics of child-rearing, you would think it was obvious why men have that stereotype. However, it is more common, even if not enough so, to see a dad that has the responsibility of homework, parent-teacher conferences, extracurricular activities and, yes, even being the one volunteering at the school.

Consider joining the Watch D.O.G.S. program in your school, or start one up! Show your kid, and all the kids out there, that there is a positive male role model in town, and it's you!

Brookie on Starfall

One of the most common sites our young kids are on is starfall.com, an early learning site with phonics, math, social and basic recognition games. I think of it like an interactive version of PBS Kids TV shows, way more so than even PBSKids.org.

She can be on that site for hours, easily. She even spent several minutes moving a person through a maze of shapes using her toes on the keyboard arrow pads. She's so funny.

My course has a facebook group!! YAY! So exciting!! I'm connecting with people all over the world! The coolest part is seeing how other countries teach evolution. All of you from the United States know that it's taught VERY carefully in public schools as to not offend anyone. It's Creationism VS Evolution. Many people are complaining that they didn't sign up for a religions class. I explained to them why for so many in the United States Evolution and Creationism go hand in hand. It's impossible to discuss one without the other.

I have to admit that prior to this first week of lectures I felt the same way. How can I believe in Evolution when it completely contradicts my faith? But you know what? It doesn't really. You can believe in both Evolution and God. I wish more people in the United States would stop getting their panties in a bunch about things like this.

I wish that Evolution had been taught like this in high school!

Coursera.org Part 2

Well, I've finished my first week of class, and I have to say I'm very impressed with the set up. This is my professor, Mohamed Noor, http://fds.duke.edu/db/aas/Biology/noor

So, some of my fears before starting this course were:
1. That I would be totally lost and not have a CLUE what was being taught
2. That the course would be based on atheism (that they would try to disprove the existence of God by proving evolution)
3. That I wouldn't have time to listen to the lectures and complete the quizzes each week

What I've found is that:
1. I'm not lost, everything that has been taught so far is building upon basic high school biology, or was previously addressed in my high school biology classes.
2. The teacher is neither trying to prove or disprove the existence of God. He even brought up examples of biologists who have a strong faith in a religion and explains of biologists who are atheists. Professor Noor stated that the proof of evolution itself neither proves or disproves the existence of God. I've also decided (as prior to this I was unsure) that I believe 100% that the theory of Evolution should be taught in ALL public schools. As well, the theory of evolution does NOT explain HOW or WHY life arose. It also doesn't state that humans evolved from chimpanzees, but that all things alive today evolved from a common ancestor. This doesn't directly disregard Creationism.
3. So far I have had enough time. This may change week to week depending on what we have going on. This week was particularly difficult as we had appointments on two afternoons AND a three day weekend. This next week may also be difficult as all day tomorrow (Monday, we have appointments) and again on Wednesday afternoon we have another appointment.

I'm very excited to see where coursera takes me. I doubt that any of the courses I plan to take will ever be useful in my life as far as employment, but they satisfy my love of learning without the added cost of taking random courses at a local college.

I'm sure that many people will find courses through coursera.org that WILL benefit their employ-ability making them more desirable to potential employees. My husband has found several offered courses that offer certificates that he could use for potential employment.

For me, this is just a way for me to have ME time; something MANY moms neglect. I can't always afford a night out with my girl friends, I can't always afford to go to the salon, or other activities to relax. And to be honest, 95% of the time I'd probably prefer to learn something new.

Keep an eye out for part 3 after mid-terms (around November 19th or so)

Coursera.org, free online college level courses Part 1

Well, just like the title says, Coursera.org  is a website that offers free college level courses online. I'm starting my very first course this week, I've chosen Introduction to Genetics and Evolution. My professor works at Duke University. I haven't even had time to watch the first week's lectures. I'm not sure if it was the best idea to add one more thing to my already over-full plate, but I really wanted to do something for me. So much of my time is spent on others.

Now, don't get me wrong; I really do love focusing on my family. I love my husband and I love my kids. But, I don't want to be JUST a wife and mother. I've always enjoyed learning, especially random things that really have no useful basis in my life; coursera works out perfectly for that. However, I've just realized that I've signed myself up for a minimum of 90 minutes of lectures each week, who knows many many minutes/hours of research and reading, one quiz every week, a mid-term, AND a final. The plus side is, if I can earn 80% of better in the class I receive a certificate of completion.

What in the world will I do with a certificate in Introduction to Genetics and Evolution? Absolutely nothing. It's purely for my own enjoyment.

I plan to blog again after I watch the first week's lectures and take the first quiz. I'm signed up for several courses:

Fundamentals of Personal Financial Planning
Introductory Human Physiology
Introduction to Philosophy
Introduction to Sociology
Women and the Civil Rights Movement
The Ancient Greeks
Nutrition, Health, and Lifestyle: Issues and Insights
Why We Need Psychology
Fundamentals of Human Nutrition

Some may end up useful in some way or another; but mostly I just wanted something fun for me to do in what little spare time I have. I'm so focused on the kids, their educations, their appointments (therapy, specialists, checkups, etc) that there really isn't a lot of time left over for me. Well, this week I change that. We'll see how it all works out :)

Be consistent with teachers when helping with homework

Curriculum night at Image Elementary was quick but helpful. This is the first year the kids are in public school since Aiden was at Roosevelt Elementary in the Vancouver School District. On top of that, Brooklyn hasn't been in school before, and Alayna is transitioning from private, Christian-centered school to public school. So much going on now. It's very confusing, and I want to be as effective in complementing in-class time as possible. Why? Because I believe education is the most important part of their life, what will make or break their success in the future. Nothing is more important.

Listening to the teachers, they each had the same graphic in each classroom: a triangle that connected "Students", "Teachers", and "Parents". The school is also pushing parental involvement because they know, like I do, that if students are left to their own devices, or they believe that teachers and parents don't know what each other are doing, students at their age will not be self-motivated enough to get a consistent application of the knowledge they are absorbing.

We as parents can challenge our children in ways the school cannot or will not. We can also create confusion when different messages are being given to a child. Ever heard an adult say, "You'll never use that kind of math in the real world," and really mean it? They were probably told that by peers or parents and that's how they approached their learning. These same kids either didn't get to advanced algebra or calculus, or they did and never did anything with it. They really needed to know that calculus and scientific careers go hand in hand, that trigonometry and programming complement each other. They needed to hear that if you know how to write in correct grammar with a large vocabulary you can be a news correspondent, a presidential speech writer or a cutting-edge blogger. And they needed to understand that it really does improve their ability to make money, enjoy their work and share their skills with the world.

It seems reasonable that the easiest thing we can do as parents is make the language, tone and encouragement that the teachers give their students a common practice during school work at home. When a teacher helping a student with a math problem is saying, "You're on the right track, you just need to try this and you'll have it," but when the student is home his or her parent is saying, "You know this. Why is it you can't just do the work like I know you can? I think you're just being lazy," there is a clearly mixed message between educational authorities.

Good teachers are trained to be and will consistently be positive and encouraging to a student. As they get older, you can adjust your approach depending on how your child works best (some kids end up working better when they're challenged to do it right and seeing where they got it wrong; it's a fact). But again it has to be consistent with what the school is doing with your child. If you believe your teacher is not teaching the way that is best fitting with your older child's learning habits, you need to be willing to work with them to make it right.

So think about how you are speaking when you are trying to get a pesky math sheet done with an 8-year-old, a book report flushed out with a 6th grader, or even a penmanship page with a kindergartner. Are you telling them how much you think they could do but are not, or are you telling them they're on the right track and you know they can get it if they try again? Are your words positive, encouraging and motivating? Or are they discouraged because you've just told them they are lazy and not trying? You have an effect on their ability to learn in the classroom because you are their parents. No matter how much they may say they don't care about what you think, they do. They always do.

For more ideas on how to give positive, constructive feedback to a student, whether helping with homework or homeschooling, check out the following references:

• Some basics from the Department of Education's Learning Partners program.
• More homework basics from the University of Illinois Urban Extension program.
• Focus on Effectiveness, part of the Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory, on Reinforcing Effort (Dr. Mel Levine)
• WikiHow.com article on how to get kids to do homework.
• Larry Ferlazzo's three-part series on engaging parents in education as posted on Education Week's blog.

Morning after pill made available to kids as young as 14, at schools

http://foxnewsinsider.com/2012/09/24/new-york-city-schools-offering-morning-after-pills-to-students-as-young-as-14/


First off, the morning after pill doesn't KILL anything. There's nothing to KILL at that point. The egg isn't even fertilized! Please, educate yourself before you open your mouth. Let's have a quick educational lesson: the morning after pill works the same way as a regular birth control pill. It is actually just a higher dose of what's regularly called the "mini-pill" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progestogen-only_pill) which is used most often by breastfeeding mothers. It works by delaying ovulation and making it hard for the sperm to get to the egg to fertilize it. In the event that the egg does get fertilized this pill also makes the lining of the uterus hard for a fertilized egg to attach to, thus never resulting in an actual pregnancy.

So, now that you know how it works, you can now decide if you think it's OK for 14 year olds to have access to it.

As the mother of 4 children, 3 of whom are girls, the eldest of which is 12, I think this is most DEFINITELY a parental issue. Do I want the schools teaching my kids about sex? No way! There's the basic sex-ed talk in 5th grade and then health in 9th grade (although, it may be 8th now, it's been a LONG time since I've been in school, LOL). I can exempt my kids from those classes if I'd like. However, I don't want sex to be a scary word. I don't want it to be taboo. I want my kids to be able to come to me and ask questions, I want them to be responsible and understand there's more to sex than the actual act itself.

But, I also know that I am in the minority here as far as parents go. My husband and I actively talk to our children. Sex isn't some taboo subject that they're just told no about. I know chances are that my children will probably have sex before marriage. My goal is to make sure that WHEN they decide they are ready they have the information necessary to make intelligent decisions. Sex is to make babies, if you aren't even old enough to get a job, you shouldn't be having sex. If you aren't old enough to work full time, you shouldn't be having sex. If you don't plan to raise a baby WITH your partner, you shouldn't be having sex. Because let's be honest, condoms and birth control BOTH have failure rates that result in pregnancies.

Here's the deal. Most sexually active teens are doing it by choice. And I'd say more than half of those kids have parents that are probably not all that involved in their lives. Generally those parents either don't care if their kid is having sex or they prefer to think that their kid isn't. I call that "ostrich syndrome", the If-I-Don't-See-It-It's-Not-Happening style of parenting. So, when their kid ends up on 16 and pregnant its a HUGE shock to them. Think about this: if a kid is scared to tell their parents they're having sex do you think it's going to be ANY easier to tell their parents they're having sex AND pregnant? I think a fairly logical solution is to make birth control available to those teenagers already having sex.

Having access to birth control doesn't mean that your kid IS going to have sex, and removing any access to birth control doesn't mean your kid ISN'T going to have sex. The best option here is EDUCATION! Educate kids on sex. Don't just tell your kids no. Talk about the diseases that DO destroy lives. Untreated syphilis can KILL you, it can literally make you go crazy. How about AIDS? There's no cure. Look at a person's face and determine if they have AIDS, you can't. How about genital warts or herpes? Think those cold sores are yucky? Wait until you have some in your pants. For women, STDs are even more dangerous. Women don't have the same symptoms as men as infections in women are on the INSIDE of the body. So, it's easier for women to end up with lifelong consequences of STDs, infertility and even death in a worst case scenario.

Education is the answer here. But, what does along with education is being able to trust your child to make the right decisions. You can't control your child. Every choice they make is a decision THEY get to make. And as they get older they start making more and more decisions on their own. You can't walk around behind them telling them to make this decision or that one their entire lives. The best option you have is to give your child the information they need to make the best decision for them. If they think it's a good idea to have sex, they should at least be doing it responsibly with birth control and condoms.

Do I want my children, ANY of them, having sex as teenagers? No way, not a chance! And I will be doing my best to encourage them to wait. However, if they decide not to wait, I'd like to make sure that 1. They trust me, as their mother, enough to be honest with me, and 2. That they are being smart about it. And that means making sure they have access to birth control and condoms.

More porn than ever before

If it wasn't for the perverse ways of the internet, I'd let my kids be on it. But this internet is not their father's internet. Literally. What you see these days were not there 10 or 20 years ago. Gawd, the fact that there was even an internet at all 20 years ago makes me feel so old I want to start looking into AARP. But even when I was a teen the internet was not the place for unsupervised children. It gets scarier thinking of that time and the fact that there is so much more inappropriateness than any other time in internet history. We parents have to be smart, or at least aware; the well-adjusted lives you may ruin may be those of your own children.

An education in futility via the Department of Education

According to the Department of Education for FY 2009, the cohort default rate for all student loans was 8.8 percent, and for for-profit schools (like the ones I went to) it is 15 percent. Wait, did I read that right? 8.8 percent overall, but 15 percent just for for-profit schools? In the data, that's a larger percentage than the other school categories. With a higher rate of default in the last few years, you would think that there would be more ways designed to get people out of default. Boy, that would be great.

Update :)

So, I have been slacking on the blogging front. Things have just been crazy busy with our extended family; heart attack, cancer, and surgery just to name a few. Plus, I had a photo shoot this last week and I am STILL working on getting the edits done (I hoping to have them finished by tomorrow). The ones so far up on my facebook page are pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Feel free to go check them out: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Morgan-Mine-Photography/247378448606980

OK, onto Miss Brooklyn. She has weekly therapy on Mondays. She's starting to warm up to her therapist and even spoke TO her last week. But, Bella and Aiden came with us to therapy that week so I'm wondering if that made her more comfortable. Next week they're going to hang out with Grandma while we go to therapy, so we'll see if it was a fluke or not. She did really well in therapy last week though; both the therapist and I were impressed.

We FINALLY got an OT referral! Do you have ANY idea what goes into scheduling an OT evaluation? I had NO idea there were so many hoops to jump through. I called our insurance and got everything approved for the evaluation, found a therapy center I liked (and that was fairly close) and called to schedule an evaluation. Apparently before we can even schedule the evaluation Joe and I have to fill out a packet of information and return it and the therapy center needs to speak with both our pediatrician AND the behavior modification therapist. THEN we can schedule the evaluation. I was hoping we could get it scheduled soon; and now I'm just praying we can get the initial evaluation done before school starts in September.

Guess what the basis of the referral is? SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER! Which, I would like to point out, is the first thing I went to our pediatrician about in November 2010! This mommy is not some crazy lady trying to get any diagnosis I can. Trust me, I've known someone like that (side note: I'm about 95% SURE that this crazy lady I spoke of used Brooklyn's symptoms to get a diagnosis for HER child, but, that's another story all together).

The therapist noticed that Brooklyn rarely sits in a chair correctly, and that about half the time she was hanging upside down in her chair. Brooklyn hit her head several times on a large doll house, Brooklyn says she didn't notice it. That coupled with what we've seen: the constant spinning, the use of her mouth as a pocket for holding random things (mostly coins and beads), the touching of everything, etc the therapist asked if Brooklyn had ever had an OT evaluation. My response was no, her pediatrician just sent us to behavior modification therapy the first time in November 2010 and I've been butting heads with him since. She said that she'd like Brooklyn to get an OT evaluation to either diagnose or rule out Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). I was DUMBFOUNDED! The original questions/complaints to our pediatrician over a year and a half ago were for SPD and sensory issues!

So, now we wait. I should have the packet in the mail from the therapy center either today or Monday. The behavior modification therapist has already said that she'd do whatever necessary to help with getting the OT evaluation scheduled. I'm super hopeful that this will happen soon.

This battle for me isn't about getting a diagnosis of something or other. This is about helping Brooklyn function in social settings and to help her reach her full potential in life. If all she needs is a bit of help here and there right now to give her the building blocks she needs for later, I'm 100% happy with that.

Hopefully the next time I post I'll be able to say that the OT evaluation has been scheduled!

Amazing news!!

Well, the average person probably wouldn't find this "amazing" news, but to us, that is exactly what it is!

Today was Brooklyn's intake appointment for a new behavior modification therapy. There's a bit of back story that's required before I get into today's exciting news.

*Back story: A little more than18 months ago Brooklyn started behavior modification therapy for the first time. At the time, I had NO idea what to expect or what my concerns actually were. All I knew is that my almost 4 year old was completely uncontrollable. She was aggressive, impulsive, didn't listen, had massive meltdowns at the store, and was like a 120+mph wild ball of energy. The therapist diagnosed Brooklyn with Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). The more I learned about ODD, the more I thought "there's NO way Brooklyn has ODD." You see, Brooklyn was not intentionally defiant.

After about 5 months of this, I went back to our pediatrician, again in tears, BEGGING for help. The therapy wasn't working. As I desperately tried to keep my daughter from tearing down the walls (she instead alternated between shredding the paper over the exam table, jumping off of the exam table, and ripping things from her sister's hands), our pediatrician suggested we consider trying medication for ADHD. This was the first time ADHD was brought up. Previous to this, I will admit I thought ADHD was a bunch of bull poo. I thought it was an over diagnosed excuse for insanely out of control children with crappy parenting. The doctor wrote out a prescription for 5mg of Adderall. 2 weeks later I still hadn't filled the prescription... That was the night that Brooklyn drank about 1/4 of my espresso while I was making dinner. That was also the first time Brooklyn sat still during dinner, ate her food in one sitting, and went to bed without a knock-down-drag-out battle. The next day we filled the prescription.

I can tell you, I INSTANTLY noticed a difference in Brooklyn's behavior. My 120+mph wild ball of energy was now a 60mph ball of less energy. It wasn't perfect, but it brought things down to such a level that it FELT perfect. We stopped the useless behavior modification therapy; 6 months wasted. But, as time progressed, I began to notice that the Adderall was not the magic-cure-all I had hoped. So, back to the pediatrician we went, this time armed with research. Research about Aspergers Syndrome (high functioning Autism) in girls and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Our pediatrician said no way to both suggestions and upped Brooklyn's Adderall to 10mg.

I continued my research online. I KNEW it wasn't just ADHD, there was something else. The more research I did, the more I kept coming back to Aspergers/high functioning Autism. Again, our pediatrician again said no way. You see, Brooklyn doesn't have severe social issues, therefore our pediatrician said it was highly unlikely. So, I compiled more information, printing out a 15 page Aspergers checklist and completing it based on what my husband and I saw daily in Brooklyn. And that is when I made an appointment with a different pediatrician for a second opinion.

And, for the first time, I felt like at least half of what I was saying was being listened to. Again, I was told it was unlikely that it was Aspergers, but that SPD was a possibility. We were referred to a different therapy location for NEW behavior modification therapy. I have to tell you, I didn't think it would do much good. But, it was a starting point. You see, our insurance wont approve of Autism OR SPD evaluations until we can prove that it's necessary. So, we went into the appointment today.

That ends the back story.

Onto today's appointment. We arrived 15 minutes early so I could fill out the MOUNTAIN of paperwork. Mental health history, health history, family mental health history, family health history.... Well, you get the idea. They picked up our paperwork and about 10 minutes later we were called back for our appointment. I explained my concerns with Aspergers and SPD and we discussed Brooklyn while the therapist tried her best to engage Brooklyn (it did NOT happen) and observed Brooklyn playing with Bella and Aiden. Finally, after about 90 minutes the therapist said to me "I am not comfortable making any type of diagnosis after just one visit, but I believe that Brooklyn IS on the spectrum. ADHD is not the only thing going on with her." That would be the autism spectrum. I cried. Not because I was worried or scared, but because I KNEW. And finally my concerns were being listened to. Finally someone saw what I saw. FINALLY!

Finally I could start working in the right direction to getting my daughter the help she needs to over come the bumps along the road of life. This was truly the best news I could have received. Even now, hours later, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest. We have a game plan.

The plan isn't big, the plan isn't fancy, but it's a plan.

1. We will be meeting with a psychiatrist to discuss options for medication for the ADHD, I'd like to consider herbal options as they tend to have much less dangerous side effects than pharmaceutical stimulants. I don't think we'll be able to get Brooklyn off of medication completely any time soon. Without the medication Brooklyn is a mess; that's really the only way to describe her off of her Adderall. But, the hope is that we can find the best fit for her to give her the ability to attend school without any issues.

2. We will be starting therapy with a therapist who works with ADHD and Autism. There are 3 goals here, to teach Brooklyn some type of impulse control, to help Brooklyn be able to function well enough in school to reach her academic potential, and to prove to our insurance company that a full Autism evaluation at either OHSU or Providence is necessary.

3. As soon as school starts we will be requesting a full IEP for Brooklyn, especially an OT (occupational therapy) evaluation, as they would be best able to deal with the sensory issues.

So, good news hearing that our daughter most likely has Autism.

Why Adam and Eve are universal

Where do we fit the story, or even the concept, of Adam and Eve into the modern evolution theory or education in general, both at the elementary level and through to college? Wow, that's a loaded question. But it's easy to answer: Adam and Eve as a concept, the first two humans on Earth who fostered the children that would populate their world, is a universal idea that can transcend context.