Yesterday my girl came home from school with what looked like a scratch from a fork on her face. It was 3 lines one on top of the other, each about an inch long across her face. I instantly ask her what happened to her face, she says, "I don't know." I keep asking leading questions: Did you get hurt at school? Did someone scratch you with a fork? Did you get hurt in the classroom? Did you get hurt at recess? Every answer was "I don't know". I kept coming back to the questions and I finally got it out of her that it happened at recess. A couple hours later I find out she got hit in the face with a stick at recess. An hour or so after that I find out that Lincoln, a kid in another classroom, hit her in the face with a stick at recess and that she told the recess duty and that Lincoln was sent in from recess.
I ask her if she told HER teacher, and she says, "Yes, I told Mrs. Lind." OK great. The teacher knows. I think, "Duh, why didn't I think of it earlier! They probably sent a note home!" I usually only check Brooklyn's backpack on Fridays, as that is the only day they send anything home with her. I look, NOTHING! Well, now I'm starting to get a bit mad. My girl was hit in the face with a stick, the marks are VERY obvious to anyone looking AT her, and there's no note.
See, a couple weeks into school Brooklyn accidentally scratched another kid with her pencil. Brooklyn likes to swing things around and was swinging her pencil around (not the safest activity) and scratched a boy on the leg. The teacher asked Brooklyn and the boy what happened, Brooklyn clammed up and refused to talk (this is pretty typical). Because the teacher couldn't find out if it was on purpose or an accident Brooklyn lost half of her recess. I had gone into school to volunteer at the book fair, and when I went in the teacher saw me and told me about it. BUT, she did it in front of other parents who could hear every word, and I then had to wait an hour (until the end of the day) to talk to Brooklyn about it.
After school I got her from class and we were waiting for the other kids, so I was talking to her about what happened. I was also there when the teacher told the boy's mom what happened, obviously Brooklyn could ALSO hear this as she was standing right next to me. It didn't break the skin, but they cleaned it up and put a bandaid over it. Brooklyn finally said it was an accident, but not she's scared of her teacher because she thinks she's going to be in trouble again. I went up to the teacher with Brooklyn and told her that, the teacher tried to make Brooklyn feel better and said that Brooklyn wasn't in trouble and that tomorrow was a new day.
OK, well, that's kind of a LOT for a simple pencil scratch on the leg. My girl got HIT IN THE FREAKING FACE WITH A STICK AND THIS MORNING THE MARK WAS STILL THERE!! It's reasonable to assume that anyone LOOKING at her would notice THREE 1 inch long raised scratch marks across her face!
Obviously I'm really pissed. I do not tend to think rationally when I'm angry, especially when it's about my children. So, I waited for Joe to get home and we discussed it, I'm still really pissed, and now he's mad too. Again, this isn't because Brooklyn got hurt at school, it happens. Heck, Aiden ran into a pole at school splitting his forehead open requiring a good 8 stitches to put it back together. The issue here is that we should have been contacted in some way to let us know our child was hurt at school. I mean, look at everything the teacher went through to make sure both parents knew about the pencil scratch that didn't even break the skin? It seems pretty obvious to me that it's reasonable to assume that MY child would get the same treatment. Apparently not. I shouldn't have had to ask leading questions for a good 3-4 hours to find out what happened to my child.
So, Joe sent an email, explaining all of this in a much nicer, more appropriate way, and asked for a response from the teacher. This morning we got one. Would you like to read it? Here it is, all ONE sentence: "I was not informed about the incident but will look into it today." Yep, that's ALL she had to say about it. I'm sorry, did you not SEE the mark on her face? Silly me, I assumed that the teacher would LOOK at my child. Plus, Brooklyn says she told her teacher (although I can't know for sure, but it's not very Brooklyn like to lie and when she does it's to try getting out of trouble, not anything like this). The marks are about an inch long and about an inch to an inch and half tall ON HER FACE!!
Here's my problem, I feel like Brooklyn's been written off already by this teacher. She heard she has a kid coming into her classroom with ADHD and made a pre-judgement about her. The teacher has been a teacher for 32 years, she has a LOT of experience teaching and I'm not knocking that. But, every step of the way I've had issues. I try talking to her about Brooklyn, I get brushed off. I try talking to her again about Brooklyn's academic skill sets at home verses what she's doing at school, I get brushed off again AFTER I'm told that it's impossible for Brooklyn to be doing the level of work she's doing at home. Now this?
I'm SERIOUSLY supposed to trust this woman with my child, 6 hours a day, 5 days a week??
OK, so I'm very emotional right now, which really doesn't help. I don't know if I'm over reacting or not. To be honest, I do tend to over react, especially when it comes to my kids. I get into "angry momma bear" mode and kinda get stuck there. Call me crazy, but I expected that the teacher would treat an injury to my child as just as important as an injury to another child. This, coupled with the above mentioned issues of being brushed off by the teacher and I'm LIVID!
We're supposed to have parent teacher conferences tomorrow and I'd like nothing more than to go into the school and DEMAND that my child be moved to another classroom. I don't want to be THAT parent. I'd like to be able to calmly and rationally discuss things... However, that's not generally how I work. I imagine that Joe's going to have to take lead on most of the talking with Brooklyn's teacher. If I don't feel as if my questions and concerns are answered tomorrow, I'm making an appointment to speak with the principal or assistant principal about getting a different teacher.
Showing posts with label teachers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teachers. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Be consistent with teachers when helping with homework
Curriculum night at Image Elementary was quick but helpful. This is the first year the kids are in public school since Aiden was at Roosevelt Elementary in the Vancouver School District. On top of that, Brooklyn hasn't been in school before, and Alayna is transitioning from private, Christian-centered school to public school. So much going on now. It's very confusing, and I want to be as effective in complementing in-class time as possible. Why? Because I believe education is the most important part of their life, what will make or break their success in the future. Nothing is more important.
Listening to the teachers, they each had the same graphic in each classroom: a triangle that connected "Students", "Teachers", and "Parents". The school is also pushing parental involvement because they know, like I do, that if students are left to their own devices, or they believe that teachers and parents don't know what each other are doing, students at their age will not be self-motivated enough to get a consistent application of the knowledge they are absorbing.
We as parents can challenge our children in ways the school cannot or will not. We can also create confusion when different messages are being given to a child. Ever heard an adult say, "You'll never use that kind of math in the real world," and really mean it? They were probably told that by peers or parents and that's how they approached their learning. These same kids either didn't get to advanced algebra or calculus, or they did and never did anything with it. They really needed to know that calculus and scientific careers go hand in hand, that trigonometry and programming complement each other. They needed to hear that if you know how to write in correct grammar with a large vocabulary you can be a news correspondent, a presidential speech writer or a cutting-edge blogger. And they needed to understand that it really does improve their ability to make money, enjoy their work and share their skills with the world.
It seems reasonable that the easiest thing we can do as parents is make the language, tone and encouragement that the teachers give their students a common practice during school work at home. When a teacher helping a student with a math problem is saying, "You're on the right track, you just need to try this and you'll have it," but when the student is home his or her parent is saying, "You know this. Why is it you can't just do the work like I know you can? I think you're just being lazy," there is a clearly mixed message between educational authorities.
Good teachers are trained to be and will consistently be positive and encouraging to a student. As they get older, you can adjust your approach depending on how your child works best (some kids end up working better when they're challenged to do it right and seeing where they got it wrong; it's a fact). But again it has to be consistent with what the school is doing with your child. If you believe your teacher is not teaching the way that is best fitting with your older child's learning habits, you need to be willing to work with them to make it right.
So think about how you are speaking when you are trying to get a pesky math sheet done with an 8-year-old, a book report flushed out with a 6th grader, or even a penmanship page with a kindergartner. Are you telling them how much you think they could do but are not, or are you telling them they're on the right track and you know they can get it if they try again? Are your words positive, encouraging and motivating? Or are they discouraged because you've just told them they are lazy and not trying? You have an effect on their ability to learn in the classroom because you are their parents. No matter how much they may say they don't care about what you think, they do. They always do.
For more ideas on how to give positive, constructive feedback to a student, whether helping with homework or homeschooling, check out the following references:
Listening to the teachers, they each had the same graphic in each classroom: a triangle that connected "Students", "Teachers", and "Parents". The school is also pushing parental involvement because they know, like I do, that if students are left to their own devices, or they believe that teachers and parents don't know what each other are doing, students at their age will not be self-motivated enough to get a consistent application of the knowledge they are absorbing.
We as parents can challenge our children in ways the school cannot or will not. We can also create confusion when different messages are being given to a child. Ever heard an adult say, "You'll never use that kind of math in the real world," and really mean it? They were probably told that by peers or parents and that's how they approached their learning. These same kids either didn't get to advanced algebra or calculus, or they did and never did anything with it. They really needed to know that calculus and scientific careers go hand in hand, that trigonometry and programming complement each other. They needed to hear that if you know how to write in correct grammar with a large vocabulary you can be a news correspondent, a presidential speech writer or a cutting-edge blogger. And they needed to understand that it really does improve their ability to make money, enjoy their work and share their skills with the world.
It seems reasonable that the easiest thing we can do as parents is make the language, tone and encouragement that the teachers give their students a common practice during school work at home. When a teacher helping a student with a math problem is saying, "You're on the right track, you just need to try this and you'll have it," but when the student is home his or her parent is saying, "You know this. Why is it you can't just do the work like I know you can? I think you're just being lazy," there is a clearly mixed message between educational authorities.
Good teachers are trained to be and will consistently be positive and encouraging to a student. As they get older, you can adjust your approach depending on how your child works best (some kids end up working better when they're challenged to do it right and seeing where they got it wrong; it's a fact). But again it has to be consistent with what the school is doing with your child. If you believe your teacher is not teaching the way that is best fitting with your older child's learning habits, you need to be willing to work with them to make it right.
So think about how you are speaking when you are trying to get a pesky math sheet done with an 8-year-old, a book report flushed out with a 6th grader, or even a penmanship page with a kindergartner. Are you telling them how much you think they could do but are not, or are you telling them they're on the right track and you know they can get it if they try again? Are your words positive, encouraging and motivating? Or are they discouraged because you've just told them they are lazy and not trying? You have an effect on their ability to learn in the classroom because you are their parents. No matter how much they may say they don't care about what you think, they do. They always do.
For more ideas on how to give positive, constructive feedback to a student, whether helping with homework or homeschooling, check out the following references:
- Some basics from the Department of Education's Learning Partners program.
- More homework basics from the University of Illinois Urban Extension program.
- Focus on Effectiveness, part of the Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory, on Reinforcing Effort (Dr. Mel Levine)
- WikiHow.com article on how to get kids to do homework.
- Larry Ferlazzo's three-part series on engaging parents in education as posted on Education Week's blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)