Aiden is not as tough as he thought

Aiden, his friend, Alen, and I went to FrightTown at the Memorial Collusium in Portland on November 1st, their closing night. Wow, a great Halloween experience. Lots of anticipation in line. We got in, and they wanted the exhibit with the shortest line. Everyone was heading to the Museum of Horrors, the main attraction which, that night, was Dia De Los Muertos, a celebration of spirits. We ended up going to the zombie-filled house of Contagion.

Once out, they were ready to go home.

I received free tickets from work for attending a training about HP Networking. I immediately let Morgan know and we both had the same thought: Aiden would be thrilled to go. Telling him about it made him dance and make excited monkey noises as he insisted he was eager to go with me. This would be his first real haunted house.

Aiden is 10 years old, almost 11. He has liked scary things for a long time, but I still make sure he isn't too scared to let his imagination go wild. I made sure we saw the web site, and we found some videos on YouTube about it and other haunts. They are not anywhere near the tameness of the 1980s when I was a kid. Back in the day, it was more like a freaky museum. I remember Enchanted Forest in Salem, OR, having a haunted house, and it being creepy rather than scary. There were air cannons and animatronics, including the innovative effect of video projection on a blank faced mannequin. Tame, indeed, compared to the brain-eating, screaming actors in today's museum of horrors.

We went into Contagion after a drill instructor character yelled instructions not to touch the zombies and where the exits were throughout the house. We walked in, darkness disturbed only by small pools of light in corners and off in distances. Within a few turns, a zombie actor, a short woman in full zombie makeup and torn clothes jumped out to hiss at us. Alan shrieked and Aiden barked a yip, immediately jumping behind me and burying his face in my butt. He grabbed my jacket and surrounded his head.

Proceeding through the rest of the haunt, that is how Aiden stayed, face buried into the small of my back and looking to the sides until something scary caught his eye making him shut them tight. Alan had his eyes wide open, fingers in his ears, jumping and dancing away from any actor who made eye contact with him.

Once out of Contagion, I wanted to go see the Museum. They wanted to go home, insisting they will never go through a haunted house again, ever. Well, that was Aiden. Alan said he'd give it two years.

Now, I know what you are thinking if you are a parent who protects your children from anything scary. "Oh my lord, you are going to traumatize him and he will be ruined for life and he will be scared of everything!" Alternately, you could be thinking that as I let him watch scary movies and go through haunted houses that make him pee his little boy pants he will be desensitizes to violence and become an ax murderer. I respect the decision for parents to either prevent or allow scary experiences for their children. There is no correlation proven, in fact, that scary experiences must be followed by psychological ripple effects. It is really up to the person.

I take myself as an example. My childhood was spent drawing monsters and watching scary movies. By the time I was in high school, I had a general interest in horror, but it was being diluted by girls and geeky pursuits like computer graphics. Eventually, while horror and gore was a theme here and there in my art, overall it was not a main interest. My parents neither promoted nor prevented my interest in scary or gruesome experiences, though they gave me other experiences that were positive that broke up the darkness.

I contest that this is the point. Shielding your children from all negative aspects of life can make them unprepared when war, politics, famine, disease or even a bad car accident come their way, let alone a scary movie. The point is to balance your child's interest with positivity. Monitor what your kids experience but don't take over their environment.

Aiden doesn't want to go to another haunted house any time soon. That's fine. He didn't have nightmares, we discussed the makeup process of the actors, and he is fine. He still thought it was a great experience, and he insists on keeping the ticket that, while it proves he only made it through one haunt then chickened out, also proves he went and had fun.

Hot Cheetos and Takis: Implications of music and family

Get to know the people behind the production in this interview by The FADER.

If you haven't seen the recent buzz about the Hot Cheetos & Takis video (above), and the kids of the Minneapolis North Community YMCA extracurricular rap class Beats & Rhymes, known as Y.N.RichKids, you have missed out on a lot. These aren't just cute kids with a professional music production and a few videos. These kids have, in this parent's opinion, embodied the potential of music to be more than just background noise for kids. In a music market overrun by adult themes, it is the non-profit programs that have been instrumental in developing child-level music appreciation without the degradation of their status in society.

What does that mean? I mean to have you watch the video, the rest of the videos on their web site, and consider what they could be rapping about. The most controversial song I've heard so far on the free downloads (that's right, FREE) of music from Y.N.RichKids is "G.F." on the School House Rap album, about a boy seeing a pretty girl and wanting her to be his girl. Compared to what that could be, the spectrum of lyrics that could go along with a more adult subject like relationships, the song is more middle school "like" than the complexity of "love". In all, I am very impressed with the lyric choices, the subject matter and the professional polish of the music this program is producing. It's something I am not ashamed of letting my kids listen to.

Now, in full disclosure, rap is not generally the favorite of our family. I grew up with rap and hip hop in the 80s and 90s, but my tastes turned to guitar-related music as I was learning guitar and rock myself. Morgan has always been more into pop, country, rock and punk. The kids vary from pop music to tweenpop, though each has their own personal taste (Aiden loves rock and punk, Alayna is more into tweenpop like Sabrina Gomez and Demi Levato, Brooklyn likes pop like Bruno Mars, and Bella likes classic rock). However, it's not like they haven't heard rap and hip hop before. I listen to crossover hip hop and spoken word, like The Roots, Flobots, Scroobius Pip, KRS-One, or crossover beats like Portishead and Massive Attack, something with a message that doesn't include being a thug. Fooling yourself into complacency by rapping about how horrible of a human you can be is just not something I care about, nor is it something my kids should be interested in.

There are some exceptions. I've always been impressed with Eminem, Jay-Z and many of the rappers that came from the 80s. Maybe that's why I like Y.N.RichKids. It reminds me more of that old school sound and cadence, but with more contemporary producing quality.

We need more of this in the mainstream. Where are the record deals for the kid-friendly artists? Sure, the Aquabats have a TV show, but you don't hear them on any mainstream radio. The general public likes controversial. It sells. Meat dresses and naked wrecking ball videos are what sell music to adults that have money.

I haven't bought music in a long, long time. I don't download it illegally either. As I said in a previous post, there is plenty to hear on free radio and public downloads. And as my economic status improves, I'm not adverse to buying a song on iTunes or Google Play if it's something I really like. But album-based consumerism is dying. I'm more likely to find what I want on Pandora or iTunes Radio and then go out and buy it because I want to add it to a collection. And I am adding Y.N.RichKids to that collection.

Aiden is learning trombone, for what reason I still have not worked out. We showed him a video of Mighty Mighty Boss Tones as an example of what that could mean to him as an artist (incidentally, the guy playing trombone in that band is black, like the trombone player included in The Roots touring team). If he wants to try to create something, a recording perhaps, with that instrument, I can work out a hip hop style song on open source software and let him write it himself, using his trombone as a melody.

This is a true implication of what music could be for a family, an expressive channel without the adulthood if needed. Some kids have been through more, and maybe want to express that through song. That is completely fine, as long as the family considers what public performance of such songs can cause, the consequences, both good like support and bad like ridicule, that would occur from such promotion. But include music in your child's life, and do it early. Not just Elmo or nursery rhymes, but real music like Y.N.RichKids, Aquabats, or someone Greasy Kid Stuff plays on their radio show.

Join us as a family enjoying music. As a family.

It was God's will....

I think those are the 4 worst words you can say to anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. I believe in God. I believe in a loving God, not a God who punishes by taking lives. I believe that as human beings, children of God, our lives are full of choices. Some are small: what to have for breakfast, whether to wear the blue or red shirt, etc. And some are huge.

Any of those choices, large or small, can result in life altering consequences. Maybe for breakfast you chose to have eggs rather than cereal so it takes you 5 minutes longer to prepare and because of that you miss a huge accident on the freeway. If you had chosen cereal, you would have been right there at that time. Maybe you didn't put your seat belt on right away and drove off, only to be involved in a serious accident a block from home.

Choices...

And some things just happen. This is where I waiver in my faith. Little Leila Grace and anencephaly. It just happened. Was it God's will? I don't believe it was God's will to take that baby, it was one of those things that happen without reason.

The loss of Emilee, was it God's will? I 100% do not believe so.

I believe that we are given the freedom of choice. Each choice we make, each action we take, has a consequence; some are good and some are bad. Today the pastor presiding over Emilee's service make a statement that moved me, and made me think of God's will. I can't recall his words exactly, but it was about how Emilee made a choice, and while God didn't condone that choice, he wept while she was making it. He also said that he believed Emilee was in heaven with her sweet Leila Grace, with her parents, and with all those who have passed before her.

I know I will someday see Emilee again. I know that God loves her. My heart will always grieve for her. For now, I continue to pray for her son, Dallas, her fiance, Will, and his two boys.